27 questions to ask your dad about his life

Twenty-seven questions to ask your dad, from the question bank Heirleaf uses for people telling their life for a book. Each one asks for a scene rather than a summary, so he can answer in a minute or two, out loud or on paper.

They are written to be asked straight to him: “Who taught you the work?”

How to ask them

Ask one or two at a time, in the car, over a meal or on a call. Plenty of people who would never write a page will talk for an hour if you ask the right thing.
Record his voice or write down his exact words, and don't tidy them up. The way he says it is the point.
Let him skip. The question he skips today he may answer next week.

Prints just the questions, in large type, on two or three pages. You can also save it as a PDF from the print window.

Where he comes from

1Who else raised you or looked after you as a child? Tell me about them.
2What object in the house did your family take special care of?

Growing up

3Who did you argue with?

Work

4Tell me about something you made or did that came out well.
5Walk me through an ordinary day at work.
6Describe the place where you worked.
7Who did you work alongside?
8Who taught you the work?
9What was the hardest work you ever did?
10If there was a time money was tight, tell me about it.
11Tell me about a boss or a workmate you still remember.
12What changed in your work over the years?

His own family

13What did you cook on Sundays?
14What did you do in the summers?
15If there was a particularly hard time, tell me about it.

Places

16Where did you go on your first trip?
17What place made the strongest impression on you?
18What place did you dislike?
19How did the place where you grew up change over the years?
20What landscape do you like to look at?
21Where did you never get to go?

What he has learned

22What is happiness, to you?
23What would you do differently?
24What do you believe in?
25What gives you peace?
26What have you learned about people?
27What has got harder with the years?

Questions from heirleaf.com, free to print and share. Heirleaf turns the answers into a book: a life, word for word.

Why these questions work

One thing at a time: Each question asks about one thing. Two questions in one get half an answer.
A scene, not a summary: “Walk me through an ordinary day at work” gets a story. “What was your job like?” gets “fine”. We ask for a place, a person, a day.
Never yes or no: And never “do you remember…?”, which puts his memory on trial.
Nothing taken for granted: No question assumes a partner, children, money or a happy ending. If something doesn't apply, he skips it.

Or let him tell it himself

In Heirleaf he answers these questions and many more, writing or speaking, at his own pace, and his words become a book of his life. Nobody rewrites them. The first three questions are free, and you can give it to him as a gift.

Give it as a gift See the sample book